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Joke of the Day

"The older I get, the more sympathize with Squidward's anger."

"it was the busta rhymes, it was the wursta rhymes"

"Did you hear about the Grizzly that killed a camper? He used his bear hands"

"*makes sure kids are asleep* *walks out to car* *slowly unwraps candy bar* *hears knock on window* *puts head down* *hands it to them*"

"""She's so hot. But she had, like, no mascara on. It's a no go for me."" -dudes, according to ladies"

"Why was the programmer sexist? Because he treats women like objects. EDIT: phrasing"

"Got a problem with me? I'm pretty sure a status on Facebook won't fix it."

"I'd eat more Mexican food if it didn't look like someone had already eaten it before me."

"Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work."

"So a dyslexic man walks into a bra..."