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Joke of the Day

"Why don't little girls stay out late? Because Jared likes to eat fresh"

"My wife said I could cum in the other hole tonight. But for some reason she got angry when she saw me lying in bed with her friend."

"I'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be ""saved"" or ""I'll burn""... Stupid firefighters."

"My parents tried to abort me but I was still born."

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to die without knowing what 95% of a scientific calculator is used for."

"Imagine how slutty girls would dress if Halloween was in July."

"The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ""For whosoever we are about to eat may the Lord make us truly thankful."""

"Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team? Because then Dallas would want one too."

"Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I... can't see."

"Damn girl are you Lassie? Because you're acting like a bitch."