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Joke of the Day

"What I hated the most in Facebook? . . . . . . . See more"

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"I got stopped outside the pharmacy today, by a woman holding a clipboard. ""What products do you use for grooming?"" she asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, ""Facebook"""
"If I could have back all the money I've spent on drugs and alcohol, I'd celebrate by buying more drugs and alcohol."
"A seal walks into a club.... That's the story and we're sticking to it."
"What did the match box say to the match? You're fired!"
"What is Jabba the Hut's middle name? the"
"Is this subreddit dying? Nobody's posted anything all year."
"My penis is like a door Welcome to all"
"[in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy."
"I just got fired from the calendar factory All I just did was take a day off..."