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Joke of the Day

"New warning label: Quitting cigarettes significantly increases the amount of money you will have for pot."

"Q: What do teddy bears like to have in their houses? A: Fur-niture."

"Coma's can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: * Hillary is in a hurry. * Hillary is in a coma."

"""Sobbing"" autocorrected to ""throbbing"" and now my attempt at showing my sensitive side has taken a very different direction."

"Surreal, wtf, insane Repost: Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. lolwut Any similar?"

"We used have Empires ruled by Emperors. Then We used have kingdom ruled by kings. Now We live in ... And We are about elect Hilary"

"What do u call a stereotypical Vietnamese commie He is so-viet"

"*gives up seat on bus for an old lady* *whispers in her ear* ""This isn't over"""

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods had a better driver!"

"(NAME) is a terrific athlete. He recently ran the London Marathon he was aiming for 3 hours but just missed it! he made it in 3 hrs 150 minutes"