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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court? He was charged with battery."

"Cops caught me fapping in a park and asked my penis if it wanted to press charges."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes? Pricks are on the outside of the porcupine."

"I don't talk about my ex's because I like to start of with a clean slate. That, and they're dead to me. Well, to everyone, but mostly me."

"Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went DATA way!"

"My kids lost a Barbie shoe. I dug in the trash and found one. It was from a set they didn't know was missing Now I'm looking for 2 shoes."

"A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?"

"What does a pirate drink for breakfast? Arrrrange juice."

"What do you call Mariah Carey when she eats at a Indian restuarant? Mariah Curry"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *gag*"