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Joke of the Day

"Definition of embarassment The definition of embarassment is when you walk into a wall with a full erection and hit your nose first"

"Everything brightened up when you came into our presence. - Food in my refrigerator."

"They told me I had type A blood... But it was a Type O"

"I was going to upload a gay joke on this sub. But fuck it."

"HER:I love Tolstoy's take on the human moral struggle ME:*Trying to impress* See I prefer Tolstoyee 3 where Woody was in the trash compactor"

"Danger is my middle name. nnFirst name: AvoidsnLast name: Completely"

"I'm very keen I could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat."

"I masturbate with my pinkie finger pointed straight out. That way if anyone ever walks in on me, I'll still look all classy and shit"

"If you hold the ocean up to your ear, it sounds just like a sea shell."

"Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance"