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Joke of the Day

"HER:I love Tolstoy's take on the human moral struggle ME:*Trying to impress* See I prefer Tolstoyee 3 where Woody was in the trash compactor"

"space is stuped if im wanted to go somewhere where i cant breathe i would just stand next to a girl"

"Freud was wrong, I have no desire to sleep with my mom I'd bang the shit out of my aunt, though."

"What do you call a half elephant, half rhinoceros? An abomination."

"What do the English use to blow up their enemies? Tea N' Tea."

"How was your thanksgiving? >> Very stuffing."

"Why does the lawyer hate doing pro-bono work? Because he fucking hates U2."

"I just learned Avicii is a singer and not Roman numerals for 1952."

"A blonde hears a guy telling blond jokes... She says ""i'm blond, and that's very insulting."" Guy says, ""alright, I'll repeat it slowly."""

"Crocodile: ""See ya later alligator."" Alligator: ""yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."""