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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out."

"What do you call spiders in the Middle East? Iraqnids. Yep. An original."

"Do you know what 80 year old vagina tastes like? Depends"

"What did the fish say when it rammed into a wall? Dam!"

"Bet I could breathe more air than you, bro"

"What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library? Pages from *Reader's Digest*"

"Please sign my petition to make Matthew McConaughey the voice for Siri."

"What is a feminist's favorite math topic? Triggerednometry"

"I was in Ethiopia and I thought I may as well have a threesome... ...you know - two birds, one stone."

"ME: ""I don't like this movie."" HIM: ""We are at a funeral."" ME: ""Who directed this?"" HIM: ""A bear attack."" ME: ""Never heard of him."""