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Joke of the Day

"I can't imagine how stressed Americans are feeling right now. I'm Canadian and I'm chugging maple syrup and just punched a moose."

"""Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead"" she hexed."

"I could be Robin Hood if I had a bow and arrows and something to steal and give away and an old English accent and a gang of merry men."

"So a woman walks out of a doctor's office and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says : - What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ? - No ma'am, CANCER !"

"i take my gf on a balloon ride to propose. a field of wild flowers spells Women Are Crooks. ""oops sorry."" i apologize. ""that ones for my dad"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, I have that vinyl at home."

"If the shoe fits... congratulations. You've correctly measured your feet."

"Why do some people think Python scripting is offensive? Because white space matters. hehee"

"What's six inches long that women love? Folding money."

"What did my step-dad say before bludgeoning by brother to death with a vacuum cleaner? Dyson."