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Joke of the Day
"So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what."
Next Joke
"[LPT] Choose the song you hate the most as your alarm tone and place your phone as far as possible Then turn your phone off and sleep like a champion."
"Unless the girl is hot, when she asks how I want my hair cut, I'll say ""In silence"""
"The director of ""A Girl in the River"" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars"
"Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden."
"What do Vietnamese historians and Southern rednecks have in common? They both care way too much about the uc Dynasty."
"Five out of six people are okay with Russian Roulette... ... The sixth one loves it to death."
"How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear? Color coded: ""Yellow in front, brown in the back"""
"What's the difference between a burger and a burglar? Cooking times."
"Why was the dolphin sad? Because it didn't know it's porpoise in life. Thank you. Thank you."