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Joke of the Day

"(Describing Guy Fieri to sketch artist): Literally a flaming hot cheeto"

"Girlfriends are like Gym Memberships You have it, you just never pay attention to it."

"I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead"

"You know what they said about the year old sheep that kept getting into trouble... ...he was a mutton for punishment."

"Maxim's Hot 100 List is bogus. Some of those girls look WAY younger than 100."

"Judging by his physique, I'd guess Popeye's a pretty accomplished masturbator."

"So, I saw Simba walking today.. and he was walking too slow. So I told him ""C'mon! Mufasa""! Edited for a bit more for clarity.."

"Why's it so hard for blind people to commit crimes? Because they can't see."

"Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift? A: 32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register."

"What do you call a zoo that only has one dog? A Shit-zoo"