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Joke of the Day

"So, I saw Simba walking today.. and he was walking too slow. So I told him ""C'mon! Mufasa""! Edited for a bit more for clarity.."

"After sex, my wife told me I deserve a Gold Medal for my performance, for breaking Usain Bolt's record and finishing under 10 seconds."

"How did the flea learn to use the internet? He had to start from scratch."

"TIL that if a seamstress messes up even one stick, the thing van unwravel Oops. Wrong thread This^ joke type is stupid and I hate it. Maybe you won't"

"SON: How are monster trucks made? ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: [glares] ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane"

"KIM KARDASHIAN: Elane you GOTA see the BABY ELANE: I follow you on instagram. Im gona see it"

"nurse: ""if youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half"" me: [visibly confused] wife: ""the grapes keith not the baby"""

"What does train tracks and breast have in common? They are both ment for boys but in the end it's the men who plays with them"

"My girlfriend said, ""Hey, want to hear a dirty joke..."" I expected her to say ""a white horse in mud"", but she surprised me with ""your dick after we do anal""."

"My kid just asked me where Washington 3-D is, because she wants to see the presidents house...Now I can't decide if she's cute, or retarded."