201811

Joke of the Day

"Wife : Even if you cheated on me, I wouldn't leave you. Me : Really? Wife : Yes. Why would I reward you for cheating?"

"Q. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A. The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion."

"What do men and tile floors have in common? ...if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."

"There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend. Czech mate. Edit: Australian, ty unsc_luke"

"Prison Guard: ""So you two cons are in love?"" Con1: ""Yes."" Con2: ""It's like we finish each other's..."" *in unison* ""death sentences."""

"I just poured my coffee with my left hand so it would feel like someone else was doing it."

"Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun. * scans the laundromat and guess whose they are."

"Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets... It's called Halo3.**ods**t"

"What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles? The Pro-lease department"

"How many times does 1 go into 0? As Many Times As It Wants!"