171254

Joke of the Day

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near..... Because your an asshole that's why, dickweed"

"Growing up, mum was always like a beautiful bird. She would fly away and when she returned many hours later she would puke everywhere."

"What do you call a black person from Niger? A Nigerian, you racist"

"Step 1 to help stop a baby choking Take your dick out its mouth"

"What do you do when you want to hold a bunny? You grabbit."

"What side of the American flag are the stars on? Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day."

"To avoid butterflies in your stomach, don't eat caterpillars."

"Are there any other animals besides humans who communicate unnecessarily?"

"Went to a nude beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women's attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes."

"Made the mistake of letting my east coast newspaper freeze on the steps this winter... I've fallen on some hard Times."