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Joke of the Day

"The Walking Dead. Or better known as The Running Living."

"4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?"

"I was sitting there... A lady walked into the bar I asked her ""Did it hurt?"""

"I got the job even though I kept telling them I'm not a plumber. It took awhile to sink in."

"What is Obama's least favourite instrument in an orchestra? The Trumppence"

"New friend: want 2 go tanning w/me tmrw? Me: ok. sounds fun. idk where 2 get cowhides. do u?"

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away..."

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"""There's a sleeping person. Let's go ask it questions."" Children"

"I recently got a job at the recycling plant But it's soda pressing."