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Joke of the Day
"""There's a sleeping person. Let's go ask it questions."" Children"
Next Joke
"I waited 279 days before I made my first post on Reddit, apparently I could've waited 558 days and received the same response."
"Did you hear about this year's newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey? The swim-fast diet."
"Never been to the blindfold shooting range? You don't know what you're missing."
"How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight? Delighted."
"What did the illiterate man say upon realizing the couch he just purchased was made of fake leather? Oh for faux sake!"
"When someone tells me about a book they've read, I pretentiously say, ""Oh, I don't even own a book."""
"The expression should be ""seeing things eyes to eyes"". Otherwise you're suggesting a meeting of the minds between Cyclops"
"Why do Jews like to watch porn backwards?? Cause they love the part when the hooker returns the money!"
"Tweeting this from the bathroom because it's the 21st century and that's what we do now."