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Joke of the Day

"We now return to 'CANADIAN SNIPER' *canadian sniper shoots an enemy* *canadian sniper yells 'sorry' from far away*"

"What happens when you provoke an angry redhead? Ginger snaps."

"You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles."

"I've never been to Japan, but I've seen a bunch of emojis so I think I get the idea."

"The songs that make me feel coolest when I'm driving fast are generally the songs that make me feel dumbest at stop lights."

"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg."

"Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania? Because all his other wives support Hilary"

"I lost two things today... Job in a morgue . . . . . . . . . . . and virginity"

"Did you know that when you meet an Indian you can CHOOSE not to mention slumdog millionaire?"

"Yo mama is so fat that we were unable to put her under for the surgery. I'm sorry, there's nothing we could do."