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Joke of the Day

"somebody took my dog while we were waiting in line at the vet i cried out ""Somebody stole my Spot!!"""

"Don't be stingy when it comes to getting a circumcision. I got one cheap and it was a total rip-off."

"There's a whole world of people out there! *closes the door*"

"Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?"

"SON: can I yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: I can yell boom DAD: boom's ok SON: how about ""my mom's a lesbian now"" DAD: please don't"

"2 men walk into a bar The third one ducks."

"Imagine if our butt crack was horizontal There would be a clapping sound everytime we go up the stairs"

"I just had sex with a woman who was 101 years old. In binary."

"How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? He does lots of bare-obics."

"You know, if I had a dollar for every time someone over fifty told me my generation sucks... Then I would be able to afford a house in the economy they ruined."