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Joke of the Day

"When my boss asks me if I can ""take a stab at this"", I always hope she'll point to that coworker we all hate."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff.. Bahh, dum, hiss"

"[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry gets to take the train back."

"Have you seen stieve wonders house? -niether did he"

"Person asked me If I wanted to have a threesome I said no thanks if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents."

"The one time I actually wanted to use the word ""duck"" in a text... and my phone autocorrects it to ""fuck"". What the duck."

"Did you ever notice that black people... ...are the same as white people. - Joe Machi"

"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."

"I know what I'm getting for Christmas. Fat. I'm getting fat."