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Joke of the Day

"Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!"

"iPhone 6: For people who don't mind holding an iPad up to their ear."

"What did the Catholic Mexican say to greet the Greek God of Thunder? ""hey zeus!"""

"how are high schoolers similar to women? they're always asking ""when will this period be over?"""

"What's beef jerky? Dried parts of a cow that had Parkinson's."

"Airport moving sidewalks are great for when you only want to feel like George Jetson for 10 seconds before you're back to Fred Flintstone."

"Who is your favorite X-Man? Mine is Bruce Jenner"

"The bible is 100% accurate when thrown from close range."

"I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it."

"Me and my girlfriend were on a cruise, listening to Bob Marley. She said he was Upboat."