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Joke of the Day

"I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it."

"What's a pirate's favorite bomb? The tsARRR bomba."

"TIL that although Sting has been missing for a week... The Police still have no lead"

"If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's Dead."

"Forgot to pack tights so I'm wearing yoga pants with my dress and a long sweater. I look like a crazy cat lady."

"Argon walks into a bar. And the bartender says, ""We don't serve Noble Gasses in here!"" Argon does not react."

"If H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4? Drinking, bathing, watering etc etc."

"Guys can we please begin calling Krav Maga ""Jew Jitsu?"" I'm pretty serious about this but I don't know where to post it."

"If you were locked in a room with Trump and Clinton And it was just you, them, and a pistol with one bullet... Which one would you shoot and which would you bludgeon to death with the pistol?"