225307

Joke of the Day

"Why did simbas father die in lion king? Because he couldn't Mufasa."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on it's own? Because it is two tired."

"Me: ""Your mum sucks."" GF: ""That's not very nice."" Me: ""No, it's wonderful."""

"If you call Starbucks ""Starbs,"" I hope you get totes murds."

"I used to own a shop which sold 'Closed' signs... It didn't do very well. I had them all up in the window, but no-one ever came in."

"What was Jamie Bulger's favourite Bob Dylan album? 'Blood on the Tracks'."

"I don't even like sports but I'm excited for next year's superbowl... Because it will be Superbowl L"

"What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin."

"A few years ago, Katy Perry came up to me at a party and whispered, ""I want you to pound my little asshole."" ""You're on."" I narrowed my eyes, ""Is he here?"""

"If a tree falls in the woods.... .....and no one is around to hear it. Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?"