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Joke of the Day

"""The captain of the Titanic just checked into an iceberg on Foursquare with 2,224 other people."" - Twitter, 1912"

"How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb? Twelve, one to change it and the other eleven to start a support group called ""recovering from the darkness"""

"9/11 was an outside job... ...until the planes came in"

"I was curious what happens after you die, so I asked an accountant. The accountant responded, ""form 706""."

"Girls want a Guy that's a gentleman and a Bad Ass! Girls want a guy that's a gentleman and a bad ass. On first dates, I wear a tuxedo and an eye patch!"

"Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts."

"What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ? I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it !"

"Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side ripped off by a shark? He's all right now."

"Sidebar rule: Reposts are allowed... ...and clear statement that you want to take credit for someone else's work."

"What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost"