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Joke of the Day
"Him: Wow you're eating again? Me: Wow you're celibate again?"
Next Joke
"""No way."" -Jose"
"What are the effects of biggest brainwashing book in human history? i dont know...try asking the suicide bombers"
"My wife and I can't agree on appropriate gardening attire. But she's digging in her heels."
"Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke."
"Yeah, but I thought the whole point of twitter was to be stalked.nnThe word 'follower' should be evidence of that"
"Before I had a kid I thought, god, I wish I could say ""please put your shoes on"" 17,000 times every morning. My dreams have come true."
"What did one nose say when the other nose said ""I love you""? ""Back achoo!"""
"*unrolls blueprints of a dick* no no no this part has got to go. dont know what this does... gone. lets put a ruby here. in the shaft"
"How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Raw Raw Rawhahaha..."