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Joke of the Day

"I got mad at a rock today. I chopped it in half with my lightsaber. Now there are two rocks. Send help. Now."

"Hollywood sets impossible standards we can never live up to. Not even once have I saved people from dinosaurs with my knowledge of Unix."

"If a guy stares at your boobs, just stare at his d!ck ... maybe squint a little bit"

"(Request) My uncle is trying to remember a Sarah Palin joke about her having a kid with down syndrome. Comment them here and I'll pass em along. Thanks a bunch :)"

"Look! I can do my ABC's backwards! -""go on then"" -""nahh CBA"" Credit to 'Fweng chweng!'"

"What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual harassment."

"What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster? HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES."

"I hope Fatboy Slim dies on the Hollywood boulevard halfway between the gutter and the stars."

"Wondering why my jokes aren't being upvoted. All of my employees laugh at my jokes, so I'm obviously a funny guy."

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