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Joke of the Day

"It's not an octopus. It's a water spider. And yes, so called ""marine biologist"", if you live in the ocean you swallow 8 of them every year."

"What lives in the sea and yells? A clam shouter."

"Rick Astley told me that you could borrow any of his Disney movies, except Up He's never gonna give you Up..."

"I'm pro-choice; pro-life is for babies."

"What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston? One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard."

"The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"*Full parking lot* Me: IF THERE IS A GOD, FIND ME A SPOT AND I WILL BECOME RELIGIOUS! *spot opens up* Me: NEVER MIND, I FOUND ONE!"

"Republican luminary Sarah Palin. If I have to explain then its not funny. If I have to explain then you most likely voted for the Republican luminary Sarah Palin."

"What do you call a space alien in a hoodie? Treyvon Martian"

"WAITER: Your honor, when I said ""enjoy your meal"" he said ""you too"" ME: it was a mistake JUDGE: he gets half your meal W: thanks J: you too"