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Joke of the Day
"What lives in the sea and yells? A clam shouter."
Next Joke
"Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer. I have no Words."
"What's the difference between your dick and your jokes? Nobody laughs at your jokes."
"What is a cannibal's favourite treat? A kid kat. (My 9 year old son made this up.)"
"People that have their kids on a leash get very defensive when you pet them."
"[OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game? Super-Pac man."
"Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice."
"What do you call a man with no legs? You call him by his fucking name what's wrong with you"
"I never point fingers at anyone. Though I do have a box of human fingers that I slingshot at people when I feel like blaming them for shit."
"What's A Pirate's Favorite thing too do? Hook up"