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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that new restaurant on the Moon? The food isn't bad, but it has no atmosphere."

"THEM: Hey-- ME: Ring ring. I gotta take this. THEM: I just watched you say ""ring ring."" ME: Ring ring. Yeah, this is really important."

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."

"My IB Extended Essay is like a hot slut. I have to do it, and it sucks balls."

"Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said ""file this under sad."" WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING"

"I got arrested one night while camping... The policeman said I was loitering within tent."

"What do the Kardashians and penises have in common? They are both stuck up cunts"

"Who's the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. Who's the coolest guy when he's not around? The hip replacement guy."

"All I got for my last birthday was a pack of sticky playing cards. I found it really hard to deal with."

"What is a black guy's favorite game to play with the kids? Peekaboo."