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Joke of the Day

"What do the Kardashians and penises have in common? They are both stuck up cunts"

"My wife and I welcomed our second child into the world yesterday afternoon! I never knew she African ancestry...but I guess I should have known with the first one."

"It's totally amazing how cars run on dinosaur poop or however the fuck fossils work. I'm not a dinosaur scientition over here. Fuck's sake."

"What did the hen say to his bar pals? Let's get some chicks!"

"My partner left me because of my pasta feeling fetish I'm feeling cannelloni right now..."

"I will always remember what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Jesus: One among you will betray me. John: No way dude. Matthew: No way dude. Judas: *thumbing through designer cross catalogue* Plausible."

"I'm saving up my money for a sex change operation... ...and I don't care how much my wife protests it. I wanted a boy, dammit."

"What's another name for dick pics? Junk mail!"

"What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor? Beef on WIC"