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Joke of the Day

"I bought a book of pick-up lines, but the pages were empty... turns out it was written by Bill Cosby."

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"What is the collective term for rams crossed with llamas who work as Avon representatives?? Rama llama ding dongs"
"(original) I just got my flu shot and tried to draw something, but it still looks shitty. I thought it was supposed to make me artistic?"
"When I get calls from unknown numbers I panic, decline and then wait for the voicemail like I'm about to be murdered."
"The body burns a lot of calories digesting food. That's why I eat instead of exercising."
"I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead"
"Why there are so many avenues in France? Because german soldiers like to march in the shade"
"Watched Full House for not even a full minute & now I'm white with a credit score of 720"
"My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song."
"The grim reaper attends a funeral early in the day... as he gets there, he says, ""Good mourning, everyone"" Ill see myself out.."