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Joke of the Day

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"My friend just posted this on Facebook. He'll make a classic dad one day. I remember 2013 like it was yesterday OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!"

"Why was the young golfer so angry? Because he was having a rough day."

"Lifeguards wouldn't let Obama in the pool because he had weeping *legions*"

"I don't like paying for pizza because I hate making my pizza feel like a whore."

"The heaviest things in the world: 4) iron 3) lead 2) tungsten 1) a toddler who doesn't want to be picked up"

"The Blonde Waitress Customer: Can I have some coffee without cream please? Blonde Waitress: We are fresh out of cream, sir. Can I bring you coffee without milk instead?"

"When people shorten words for no reason it makes me want to commit murds."

"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spit, swallow, gargle."

"Baller is short for ballerina"