224477

Joke of the Day

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"""What's that?"" - My new boss. He's very deciduous"" ""Decisive?"" - Nope. I carved him from a potted tree. *squirrel peeks out of his mouth*"

"I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories."

"There was once a conservative redditor"

"My neighbor's burglar alarm goes off so often that people just ignore it. On the upside, their new plasma TV looks great in my living room."

"My mum showed my girlfriend my baby photos. ""You haven't changed at all,"" said my girlfriend. ""Alright mum,"" I said, ""that's enough of the naked ones."""

"Why can't Two-Face kill Batman? Because he's two Dents."

"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"

"I went to the zoo today. All they had was one dog. It was a shit zoo"

"Who is 50 feet tall, has a blue ox and kills co-eds? Ted Bunyan."