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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blown apart"

"The fact that the British call math ""maths"" scares me, since the only thing more frightening than math is plural math."

"Can't sleep knowing there's a Toblerone in the mini bar."

"What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator."

"All I said is that I didn't know whether we were a Marvel or DC family and my husband and kids locked me out of the house."

"Being a gynaecologist is like being a pizza delivery guy. You can smell it but you can't taste it. I'm sure that's what paediatricians say as well"

"Give your Mom what she really wants today. Accept her Facebook friend request."

"Hi, I'm hosting a party with dinner & drinks on Friday 14th Feb for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't cum let me know."

"My friend told me I don't know what irony is Which was ironic, because we were at a bus stop."

"People who say that they're 'just naturally thin' are also just naturally awful."