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Joke of the Day

"I was really upset when I lost my paper towels I was SO upset that they had gone missing that I had to hire a BOUNTY hunter *ba dum tss*"

"What's the difference between a cowardly sex offender and your job? Your job will always suck"

"For all those who answer ""how's it goin?"" with ..""can't complain""...please review your FB status's"

"Why should transgender people get separate bathrooms? There's already handicapped stalls."

"Yo mama so fat, when she fell over nobody was laughing... ...but the ground was cracking up"

"What do fish do when they have cancer? Nemotherapy"

"What did russian judge say to the jury? I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort."

"a serial killer that strangles victims with fruit by foot and eats the murder weapon afterwards"

"My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up"

"[Boss stands at my desk] Can I see you in my office? [I stare curiously] You can see me here, right?"