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Joke of the Day

"I hate flossing This morning, I brushed for literally twenty minutes just to put off flossing. My hair has never looked better."

"I told my mom I got in trouble at school today for a PDA.... She said, ""For what? Kissing your teacher's ass?"""

"Sometimes I wonder if the ghost in my house thinks he's being haunted by some angry, naked, drunk guy."

"Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It's like, dude, he's the sun. They make sunglasses because of him."

"I have an inferiority complex... It's not a very good one though."

"For this Valentines day, I'll be inundated. Oops. I mean I'll be in, undated."

"I'm surprised Microsoft didn't resurrect Bing Crosby to counter Google's ad."

"My doctor said I should stop thinking so much, it's bad for my health and could damage my liver He also say's I'm half deaf"

"Number one rule as a snake charmer, never fall in love."

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends...? Because he's married. ;_; (I'll see myself out)."