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Joke of the Day

"BOSS: There's limited parking at the event so we are going to carpool ME (pulling a pair of floaties out of my desk drawer): oh hell yeah"

"What's the most commonly used Muslim woman punch called? Hijab"

"What's the difference between ""for free"" and ""for nothing"" I went to school for free, you went to school for nothing."

"Honey, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that the penguin pooped in the bathtub. Wife: ""But we don't *have* a penguin!"" Me: ""And now for the good news...!"""

"243 [Slightly NSFW] You asked for it :D Edit: Holy hell this one actually got some attention."

"Did you hear about the guy that made a terrible joke? He fainted."

"Atheists are like a broken pencil They're missing the point"

"What did the dentist say to the golfer? ""You have a hole in one. """

"Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little. ""Nervous?"" asked the interviewer I replied, ""No, I always give 110%"""

"Nobody would show up to a ""White Lives Matter"" demonstration. They all have to work."