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Joke of the Day

"Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor."

"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer doesn't complain when you push a 3 1/2"" floppy into it."

"The Indian National Army has anti-gay laws... They call it the law of Don't Ask, Don't Patel."

"I made a belt, entirely composed of watches It was a waist of time"

"How do you celebrate July 4th in Canada? Not by getting drunk and blowing off your fingers, because it's just a regular day fir you."

"How do you stop an Internet troll? Seize their memes of production."

"I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays."

"Arguing with women is like getting arrested, anything you say can and will be used against you."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms."

"I made fun of my friend for getting off to humiliation porn. He came."