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Joke of the Day

"Who ships Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio the most? Not Titanic"

"Time to get ready for work Insomnia - OK. You can sleep now."

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog... You know more about it, but now the frog is dead."

"Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door."

"Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym."

"Do you like freezing to death and knocking down trees with your face? Well why not book a skiing holiday?"

"What's the difference between pussy and mashed potatoes Mashed potatoes don't make their own gravy"

"at Nike advertising meeting I need a slogan for these shoes by the end of the day. I don't care how it gets done just do it..hold up a sec"

"The mighty god rode his valiand steed atop the highest mountain.. ... raised his hammer high, and declared ''I am Thor!''. To which his horse replied: ''Because you forgot your thaddle, thilly.''"

"Can you open your mouth without showing your teeth? You're hired."