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Joke of the Day

"It sucks to be a dick.. A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"I tell my boyfriend I love him all the time and all he says are things like ""make a left in 300 feet"" and ""you've reached your destination."""

"A police officer confronts a man who he thinks is high on marijuana. ""How high are you?"" He asks. ""No,you said it wrong, it's 'Hi! How are you?'"""

"I have always wondered what people did for fun before the Internet existed. My seventeen siblings don't know the answer either."

"To brighten your day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_sfnQDr1-o"

"People who have wheels on their office chair, how do you get any work done?"

"Thought I heard reggae music coming from the office... ...but it was just the printer jammin'"

"Just changed the names of all the girls in my contact list to: ""Jake, from State Farm""."

"Did you hear about the hydraulic press? It wasn't very impressive."

"Can a widow's husband marry her daughter? No,dead people don't marry."