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Joke of the Day

"Life is Like a Penis Simple, soft, and relaxed - then women make it hard."

"A woman in her seventies overhearing that I was a tattoo artist asked if I wanted to see her ""rat"" tattoo. I said sure. She revealed a bare hip and said ""Oh, I guess my pussy must have ate it"""

"Did you hear about the marketplace where everything cost twelve and a half cents? It was a bit bazaar."

"I should marry a storm trooper. They will always miss me."

"Q: Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder? A: So he could shoot his mouth off."

"One day my kid will ask me why he's half human and half final exam"

"What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet? I don't know but it's e-nourmous."

"When I was in the first grade my teacher could remember my name Which really hurt since I was home-schooled"

"If you know the thread count on your bed sheets we're in different tax brackets."

"Forget Klondike, you should see what I'd do for an open bar."