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Joke of the Day

"If you've ever wondered how many days you can reuse the same lemon wedge in your water pitcher in the refrigerator, the answer is not 11."

"What do priests have in common with my dad's BBQs? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns."

"I want to give you guys my best dad joke... ...but I'm afraid you won't give it back."

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares their dogs too much"

"There are three ways a man wears his hair - parted- unparted or departed"

"I made a terrible mistake when I searched for Gary Oldman on Google. I forgot the R"

"What does toilet paper and the Star Trek Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."

"""If all your friends jumped"" 'Yes' ""But if they"" 'Yes' ""But"" 'IF I EVER GET FRIENDS I'M GOING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT ME TO, OK MOM?"

"My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace."

"What do you call it when a Bulgarian uses vulgar language? A Bulgarity."