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Joke of the Day

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares their dogs too much"

"The Walking Dead Season Finale Check back in six months for the punchline."

"I'm DJ'ing my daughter's 11th bday. As DJ D. A. D. , I need to collect your best dad jokes suitable for the mic! I'm sure she'll forgive me... eventually.... Hit me!"

"What's the difference... What's the difference between a colostomy bag and a politician? The bag isn't always full of shit!"

"What are Jews better at that anyone else? Concentration"

"I asked my yoga teacher what my purpose in life is she said "" To inspire and then expire"""

"This bottle of vodka was on sale. So yes, I will party like it's $19.99."

"I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I'm in."

"If there's one thing that I've learned it's, that I should have learned way more than one thing."

"The problem with Quotes on #Twitter is that... it is so difficult to tell if they are Genuine - William Shakespeare"