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Joke of the Day

"[A field] *An elderly Louie Pasteur and I sit among the clover, I hold a shotgun* Me: It's time to put you out to pasture. *Cocks shotgun*"

Next Joke
 
"Found an expired condom. Oh well, still ate it anyway. Hope I don't get sick!"
"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"
"What do Detroit and the Olympics have in common? You hear a gunshot and see a bunch of black guys running"
"Why did Turkey disappear? Because Austria was Hungary."
"Name your kid Basil and see what happens. BEST case scenario he spends hours a day updating Wikipedia."
"I've feeding my kid Green Beans for St Patties Day so I can have green vomit on me without having to drink 26 green beers."
"What do you call a smart ant ? Elegant !"
"* changes bedsheets, 14 socks fall out * Hmmm... * apologizes to the dryer *"
"I like my beer like I like my women... ...anything goes as long as I'm pounding it with a friend."