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Joke of the Day

"I've feeding my kid Green Beans for St Patties Day so I can have green vomit on me without having to drink 26 green beers."

"Women don't say sorry, when a guy is right they say.... ""Whatever!"""

"Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair? Because it was a wrecked tangle"

"You know what they say about men that live in glass houses... They beat their wives in the basement."

"accidentally called the guy at the oil change place ""mom"""

"Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrup........ MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! [Works best IRL](/spoiler)"

"When does a pear become a pair? When one appears."

"There we were, two men against an army... Boy, did we beat the hell out of those two guys."

"Marriage brings two people together to solve issues they never had before"

"How lost members does it take to change a lightbulb?"