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Joke of the Day

"If people who made meth called themselves methematicians it would probably be a more respected occupation."

Next Joke
 
"Bill: I hope Hillary will have better interns in the Oval Office than I did. All of mine sucked."
"Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only."
"Two people go to a Nickelback concert."
"what do you call a gay dinosaur? a megasoreass"
"*wakes up from a 10 year coma, pretends to be asleep for an extra 5 minutes*"
"Why periods? Why can't mother nature just tweet me and be like ""Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to you next month"""
"Sometimes I'm scared I'll miss my kids when they move out but then I find a bowl of cereal in the bathtub tub and I'm not so scared anymore."
"In terms of sausages... Hitler was the wurst."
"Always hide you prescription bottles from your medicine cabinet so ppl don't know how crazy you are. Also, you're now out of xanax."