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Joke of the Day

"I'm not an elitist. I'm far better than that."

"The best way to return any clothing left at your place is to do a drive-by with a t-shirt gun on her wedding day."

"I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco."

"How do you get elected president of my pants? By the vote of the Erectional College..."

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's half off."

"Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth inside."

"4 gay guys walk into a bar... They find that there is only one barstool, the ponder for a second, until one says, ""why don't we just flip it over?"" (Sorry if its a repost)"

"What did GB say to EU? Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!"

"Today is a big day for the Chinese. Erection Day"

"Six and seven just had a child. Five says ""You lucky devil, you."""