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Joke of the Day

"Ebola has mutated! reports are coming in that the Ebola virus has mutated and become exponentially worse, in light of this mutation the virus will be renamed the Hyperbola Virus"

"What do you get when you put 50 politicians and 50 lesbians in a room together? 100 cunts that don't do dick."

"A man in the car beside me had his arm out the window and I was admiring his sleeve tattoo until I realized it was only excessive arm hair"

"What is a thing that Alan Rickman and David Bowie both have in common? It is that they have both recently become deceased."

"A woman screams as she gives birth... ""What's wrong, honey?"" her husband asks. ""What's wrong?!?"" the woman shouts, ""THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"" ""Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"""

"Prostitutes are like the Elves from Lord of the Rings When you know them well enough they tell you their true name"

"What's the difference between a bucket of sand and period blood? I can't gargle a bucket of sand."

"If revenge is a dish best served cold What do I do when my best friend serves me ice cream?"

"If Chris Redfield worked pest control... It would be called Resident Weavile."

"Did you hear about the college for dolphins? It was for educational porpoises only."