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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you put 50 politicians and 50 lesbians in a room together? 100 cunts that don't do dick."

"What's the worst advice calculus can give you? Integral of e^x because that's Se^x dx and it's never a good idea to sex the ex!"

"Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, I let out loud, deep breaths. I used to feel embarrassed about it, but she told me that sighs doesn't matter."

"My wife and I are screaming at each other from different toilets while our sons shoot each other with bb guns"

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... Ground up and in the freezer."

"I didn't know what to wear to my premature ejaculation support meeting... So I just came in my pants."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year!"

"I hope you guys realize that sunflower seeds are salted little plant babies."

"Why Do Tigers Have Stripes? Because They Don't Want To Be Spotted"

"I've just bought a car that parks itself. Oh really? And where it is? I have no fucking idea."