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Joke of the Day

"A woman screams as she gives birth... ""What's wrong, honey?"" her husband asks. ""What's wrong?!?"" the woman shouts, ""THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"" ""Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"""

Next Joke
 
"What is Brown and Runny? ...Usain Bolt"
"Hey guys is your refrigerator running? Because I don't like any of the current presidential candidates"
"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot I only exist when you need something!"
"What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems? Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)"
"Why is Apple donating money to cancer research? ""Cancer stole our jobs!"""
"What do married people do for fun? Get divorced."
"Why do failing college girls always screw their professors? Cause they want the D."
"If you keep your child on a leash in public, I will not hesitate to ask ""Does he bite?"""
"The penis is a really strong organ... ... because it can take a beating"