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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume? He was convicted of fragrancy."

"I just now realized the guy at the urinal that complemented my watch might not have actually just been looking at my watch."

"I asked Christian Bale how many ex's he had... ...he started counting, and then he fell asleep! (works with any welsh person's name)"

"Ever hear the joke about the insecure comedian? ...it's okay, you probably wouldn't have liked it, anyway."

"""Mr Bush, do you want my coke?"" ""Yeah sure"" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* ""Hey kid...catch"" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*"

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? I heard it's very time consuming."

"anyone hear about this gravity discovery proving einsteins theory correct? I hear its really making a wave"

"Customer: ""I'm running Windows '95."" Tech: ""Yes."" Customer: ""My computer isn't working now."" Tech: ""Yes you said that."""

"Stealing being illegal is why I can't have nice things."

"I hate when I'm spying on someone while they're showering and they let out a huge fart. What a sicko."