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Joke of the Day

"It's like an orgasm in your mouth Someone gave me a dessert and said ""Try this, it tastes like an orgasm in your mouth."" I replied: ""You know what tastes like an orgasm in my mouth? Fifty bucks."""

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"My big next door neighbour just confronted me about missing items from his washing line. I nearly shit his pants"
"Did you hear about the statistician that drowned? Apparently he tried crossing a river with an average depth of 4 feet."
"What's the difference between a blind sniper and a constipated owl? Everything. They have absolutely nothing in common."
"What did the Pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey"
"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for long enough it develops its own culture"
"A homeless guy asked me ""would you give me $5 for a sandwich?"" I said ""I don't know man, show me the sandwich first."""
"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."
"What kind of jokes does a mute clown tell? Dumb ones!"
"When do you get when you take 50 lesbians and 50 civil servants? 100 people that don't do dick."